【考研1号】“2014作文修改”——【第四期英语二“邻里交流”】

第四期活动来啦，也是最后一期哦，希望大家能够抓紧机会！[p:30] [p:30] [p:30]

[m:51] [m:51] [m:51]
注：各位亲爱的同学们久等了，以下是第三期的总结，点进去看哦~~~
http://bbs.freekaoyan.com/thread-888139-12-1.html

本期话题选自《写作宝中宝》“邻里交流”
Directions:
Study the following pie chart carefully and write an essay within at least 150 words, which is entitled as “Communications Between Neighbors”. Your essay must be written neatly on  the ANSWER SHEET. Your essay should cover these three points:
　　1. describe the picture and interpret the chart;
　　2. analyze the situation;
　　3. give your comments. (15 points)

昨晚论坛进不去，所以今天才发活动总结，很是抱歉！同学们现在可以看到啦[j:24][j:24][j:24]

占个楼先 马上写~

Nowadays,the deteriorating relationship in neighborhoods,which has provoked nationwide noisy debates，is commonly seen in any urban area.  From the picture,we can learn that people who frequently communicates with their neighbors amounts to 51.21%,and what about the others? They are the persons who have shallow human relations.

The issue is attributed to two factors.The first and perhaps the most important is that the Internet,to most individuals , has become the most popular leisure activity. The modern way of communication,which has surely detached people from their time commitment to normal relationships, has taken the place of the face-to-face one.The other reason is that people nowadays is fully occupied by their work and business,because of the pressure of survival. And there is little time left to communicate with each other.

Such phenomenon is quite distressing and should be condemned.Actually， community involvement is a good way to put an end to this phenomenon.Activities including dancing and singing,can not only relax ourselves after a week’s tense work and study,but also strengthen our friendship.What we gain,from social practices and communications,might far more than our anticipation so long as we participate in community activities.

  

             Communication    Between    Neighbors

The table orderly arranges the percentage distribution of communication  between neighbors.The percentages of people who seldom communicate with their neighbors and those greeting their neighborhoods merely when they encounter are respectively 6.99 and 40.86,which approximately equal to the proportion of people frequently getting along with neighbors.Apparently,the table given above casts light on such an issue that the associations between neighbors have been far from intimate contacts.

Frankly speaking,there are sane reasons accounting for the phenomenon.On the one hand,individuals who gradually play a high value on themselves,pursuing the work promotion,devoting to raising kids,are too busy to pour attention to their neighbors.On the other hand,as the improvement of scientific technology,Internet is utilised to meet all kinds of demands including communication,giving rise to a common notion that the necessities of keeping contact with neighbors are fading.

In no case can we deny that the function of network is overestimated by us,the rush pace of mordern life leading to the egocentricity which will hinder the social progress,or rather,we will pay a high price for ignorance of others.As the old saying goes,a far-off relative is not as helpful as a near neighbor.Thus,it is a high time for us to do something to reverse it.Initially,we are supposed to open our mind,cordinally,to make friends with our neighbor,to assist them as possible as we can instead of confining ourselves in room accompanied with coldly computer.In addition,society are entitled to encourage people to spare joy and pain with their friends in reality,starting from the neighbor.

          Communications Between Neighbors
      This is a statistical analysis picture.It shows that there are 186 persons take part in this investigation,13 persons who never or occasionally communicate with their neighbors being about 6.99% of all persons,76 persons who just say “hello” when they meet each other being about 40.86% of all persons and 97 persons communicating with their neighbors frequently.
     The first,HuJintao,the former President of People’s Republic of China,argued that we must establish a harmonious society which is the necessary conditions for  building a socialist country under the rule of law build socialism with Chinese characteristics prompting the developing of economics and society.So we must have a good deal with neighbors.The second,communicating with neighbors is benefit for practicing our ability of social acceptability.We get the supports of material and spiritual when we are talking with neighbors.That is good for developing of mind and healthy.So we must have a good deal with neighbors.I am happy to see that more than 50% persons have communicated with neighbors frequently.
     In my opinion,the country would establish some rules about the culture of society which encourage the communicating with neighbors.And we would get together with our neighbors to take part in some activities to build a healthy relation of community.

look forward to your review, thx                                             
                                                              Communications Between Neighbors
    The pie chart above clearly reflects the situation about communications between neighbors. According to the statistics displayed in the diagram, there are 97 individuals who often communicate between neighbors, accouting for 52.15% of the total population. In comparision, there are 13 individuals who seldom or never communicate, accounting for 6.99% of the total 186 people.
    There are a good many factors that contribute to this matter and the main reasons are as follows. In the first place, nowadays, with the social competition becoming keener, people in mounting numbers feel the great pressure related to the worklife. To them, communication between neighbors may be an excellent way to relax themselves. In the second place, there are also a group of people who are introverted. Because of the development of the morden lifestyle, maybe they become much more alienated from the outside world.
    As has been mentioned above, from my point of view, countermeasures should be taken so as to improve the current situation. First of all, a widespread campaign should be launched to make more and more people realize the significance about the communication between neighbors. In the further step, a varity of activities should be organized to encourage those introverted people to contact with other people and help them have a colorful life than before.

请老师指正……可以的话能打分吗？辛苦了…！

Communications Between Neighbors

How do you get along with your neighbors? Throughout the chart above that had 186 people investigated, it can be informed that there’re several models, including “seldom or not communicate”, “greeting only” and “frequent communication”, that people use to deal with their neighborship, each accounts for 6.99%, 40.86% and 52.15% in the proportion.

Communication is to man what water is to vegetation. It is communication that counts, playing a crucial role during we social group’s evolution. Only by keeping connect will we acquire more complementary knowledge, build up a more cosy society. Without communication, life will be full of baffles and loneliness. What’s worse, it may bring about frustration. That’s why people prefer communicating frequently with neighbors to ignoring.

To create a more appropriate circumstance, not only should the neighbor-between communication be out of polite, but it should be agreeable and sincere. Not so familiar though neighbors are, it still be necessary for people to communicate with, so that we can make it a harmony world all together.

　　The above table manifestly reflects how often people communicate between neighbors. Based upon the data offered,we can see that there are 13 residents barely talk to their next door out of 186 interviewees,6.99 percent of them. In comparison,the number of dwellers who greet their neighbors only soars dramatically to 76--the percentage of 40.86. Meanwhile,more than half of the total claim that they always have communications with people living around them.
　　Depending on the chart, we can assume that the tiny majority may have taken advantages of keeping in touch with neighbors. First and foremost,human beings hardly are solitary creatures. When we reside in the middle of a community,it’s inevitable to build connections with each other. In addition,getting on well with neighbors can bring us actual benefit. We mortals might be trapped into some kind of emergency that need helping out. Last but by no means least,fantastic relationships somehow is a crucial part of our lives. Communicating with neighbors can lighten up our daily lives.
　　Nevertheless, quite a ratio of people are not willing to have a conversation more than greeting with their neighbors. Indeed,each of us have every right to choose any kind of lifestyle without being judged,but,in my point of view,appropriate communications can never be harmful.



went to bed前才猛然想起今天可以写作文，火速打开电脑发现已经三篇开外了，残念但还是想要写完。
这次花了一点时间...第三问的solution让我想了好一会儿...囧
不知道有没有离题............
希望能得到批改。
万分感谢！

ps这个活动太好啦！可以再开两期吗？（眨巴着星星眼）

[p:08]
                                                           Communications Between Neighbors
    As can be seen from diagram above, though the figure of residents who usually communicate with their neighbors is narrowly beyond 50 percent, it is far from what we expect, and there is still a comparatively large proportion of people belonging to the group which is just simply greeting when meeting their neighbors or even none.
    What the thought-provoking graph illustrates is a common phenomenon in current society. There are generally two factors accounting for it. Above all, with the increasing pace of our modern life, it seems that almost every inhabitant who is occupied with their endless work or study has no sumptuous time to communicate with their neighbors. In addition, development in technology brings a platform for convenient online communication. As a result, people communicate little in reality and more and more people lack effective communication skills. Admittedly, it is because of less communication that our society is becoming indifferent.
    It is imperative that we should take some drastic measures. First and foremost, the community should move forward in terms of establishing congregate activities and social intercourse skills should be universalized among residents. Furthermore, individuals should cultivate the awareness of communication with neighbors in reality. With a proper step, I believe that the relationship between people will be harmonious and we will embrace a better and warmer society.

这么快就到最后一期了。。。
跟着写了三期，自我感觉写作思路清晰好多，只是还木有被老师详细批改过，对自己的水平把握不是很清o(╯□╰)o
老师这次还木有时间详细批改的话能不能给个分参照一下啊
另外，希望老师能针对我的情况指导一下接下来的努力方向

支持[r:1]