各位给评价下，献丑了。

[s:5]    鄙人英语水平有限，现在拿出两篇作文来练笔，各位高人百忙中抽出些时间批阅一下， 感激不尽。

题目：Directions:
　　You are to write an essay according to the following situation within 40 minutes and with no less than 200 words.
　　Situation:
　　Some people agree that more private automobiles should be encouraged in China. Other people disagree with it. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific examples to support your view.

作文：   
In the past few years ,there was an obvious tendency that the private automobiles came forth everywhere in China,then people in mounting numbers used it as much as possible.However ,this is indeed a problem that we should not neglect any more.
Several factors should account for this problem that has led to encouraged or not.The most direct one is that the more private automobiles comes out,the more pollution and traffic accident it may cause.For example,the green house effect ,part of the reson is that the automobile exhaust emissons .And then,the traffic accident in my city occured fequently everyday.
Then what should we do to prevent the worsning of this problem!This is no easy task ,but some solutions may be very helpful. First of all,we use the bus rather than private auomobiles.Secondly,buy the electric automobile as far as possible. Last but not least,we should be careful to drving in order to take care others lives.
Following these recommendations,we are sure that the future of the private automobiles may be much nicer at all.

小作文题目: Two months ago you got a job as an editor for the editor for the magazine Designs fashions. But now you find that the work is not what you expected. You decision to quit. Write a letter to your boss Mr Wang.
　　Telling him your decision stating your reason（s） and make an apology

Dear Mr Wang:
I am grateful to be employed  by you two months ago as an editor for your magazine  Design and Fashions. I appreciate the opportunity of having worked here with you and other colleague .The experiences will be unforgettable throughout my life.
However,as a young man whose primary interest is in psychology rather than design fashions.I find my present job dosen't fall in with my previous training and strength .I therefore decide to quit this job for someting else that may conform to my former preparation.
Please accept my sincere apologize for any inconveniences my leaving may occur.
Yours sincerely
LiMing
用时，一小时。排除找题时间。

恩。所以我英语没敢往高分想。
谢谢一盏心灯的指点。
把错误说出来就更好了。

一点也不假，里面错误多多，深度赞同默默斑竹的评价。
英语修养一眼就能看得出来，这真不是背模板能背出来的。

谢谢评价。==

呵呵比我写的好一点呀

谢谢你让我难过同学。呵呵
我们都改一改，就没问题了。
最后这点儿时间，足以！
加油！！！

可能是我看的作文写作风格跟你的不太一样，总觉得读起来有些拗口
不够我们都有chinglish的“风格”
我是个英语语法盲
就不多点评了

原帖由 笔为剑 于 2008-12-29 23:37 发表


他那句“不为所动，步步为营。死猪不怕开水烫，更将剩勇追穷寇！！！”说得真好。

记住了，笔版。偶继续努力。。。

原帖由 蓝希 于 2008-12-29 23:29 发表
哼哼哼。。。。
笔版。。。他哪点说得好。。。。你给他加分。。。。

他那句“不为所动，步步为营。死猪不怕开水烫，更将剩勇追穷寇！！！”说得真好。