考研1号《写作160篇》读者写作练习修改与点评”道德滑坡“1！（持续更新中...）

写作原文
　　考研英语话题图画作文《写作160篇》之“道德滑坡”话题读者写作练习
　　　　　　
What an ironic cartoon it is! A young man is sitting on the seat with a scarf comfortably, while the children, the old man and the conceiver are standing around him. Indeed, the picture is not scarce to see in our daily life, especially in today’s life. It is quite obvious the drawer wishes to draw our attention to this phenomenon of moral decline in economic prosperity.
Current years, some adolescents only note themselves, ignoring their parent, friends and others. This runs counter to our traditional virtue of respecting the old and taking good care of the children. The reason of this phenomenon is that the adolescents’ moral standards today lower than before. So the basic of the problem is changing the adolescents’ mind. Otherwise, economic prosperity cannot last for a long time, and real social prosperity will not come to us.
To build a harmonious society cannot away from a high moral behaviors. So it is a clear message that we are to improve our moral standards by crook and hook to reverse the situation of moral decline. To serve as responsible citizens of the country, we must press forward on the awareness that young people should learn to strength the moral standards so that a harmonious society can be built as soon as possible.
原作点评
What an ironic cartoon it is! A young man is sitting on the seat with a scarf comfortably, while the children(child), the old man and the conceiver(pregnant“孕妇”) are standing around him. Indeed, the picture is not scarce to see in our daily life, especially in today’s life. It is quite obvious the drawer wishes to draw our attention to this phenomenon of moral decline in economic prosperity（无关成分，删除）.【一段描述图画，点出主题】
（加介词in）Current years, some adolescents only note themselves, ignoring their parent(复数prents), friends and others. This runs counter to our traditional virtue of respecting the old and taking good care of the children（young，与old相对）. The reason of this phenomenon is that the adolescents’ moral standards today lower than（加that）before. So the basic of the problem is changing the adolescents’ mind. Otherwise, economic prosperity cannot last for a long time, and real social prosperity will not come to us.【本段要对话题进行展开，可分析图示现象产生的原因，也可分析可能会产生的后果。本段思路不清晰，核心意思不明显】
To build a harmonious society cannot（句子缺少谓语动词，加be）away from a high moral behaviors（单复数不一致，behavior）. So it is a clear message that we are to improve our moral standards by crook and hook to reverse（reversing）the situation of moral decline. To serve as responsible citizens of the country, we must press forward on the awareness that young people should learn to strength（要用动词strengthen）the moral standards so that a harmonious society can be built as soon as possible.【只是反复说要强化道德水平，但没有给出具体的措施和建议】
总体点评
本文主题鲜明，文章整体架布局合理，基本符合directions的指令要求。但细节错误很多，词性错误，单复数问题，句子成分残缺等，建议要养成自我检查的好习惯。写作时对自己没有把握的句式建议少用，如果想积累自己的写作素材，请参看《写作160篇》上篇。
参考分数（满分20分）：11分

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