海豚戏珠之文海捕鱼～～1

亲爱的各位同学们，同志们，网友们，研友们～
很高兴大家来到海豚的渔船上～
今天我们要出海打鱼了哦！
双手放在键盘上，开始准备吧～

游戏规则：
        1、海豚给大家一个作文的题目
        2、然后呢，给出一个例文，可是要注意了哦，这个可不是什么好的例文，是一篇很普通的作文（这就是文海）
        3、希望大家能运用自己所掌握的单词和语感，指出文中的错误，用红色的字表示出你改动过的地方，可以是语法错误，也可以是你觉得文中的表达方式不理想，你有更好的说法哦～（找出来错误就是你捕到鱼了，哈哈，然后呢，海豚会出钱买你的鱼～）

如：例文为：I am student.  
            修改之后的回帖就是这样的写法：I am a student.
            然后指出原因：要有量词

好啦好啦，咱们出航了哦～请您扶好坐好～

现在已经进入了可以捕鱼的海域了哦～
       You will graduate from university in the summer of 2006 and have experienced ups and downs over the past four years.Wite a letter to the freshmen to
       1)state how to adapt oneself to campus life,and
       2)stress the importance of English learning.
       You should write about 100 words on the ANSWER SHEET 2.Do not sign your own name at the end of the letter.Use "Li Ming" instead.You do not need to write the address.

目标来了，赶快出手！！！

Dear freshmen :
        I  a senior student of Northwestern University Computer Science Department. I would like to say a few words to you. I hope it will be useful for you.
       First, the idea of change to adapt to campus life is very necessary. In secondary schools, we normally rely on the teachers in schools, at home on parents. However, the University's learning and life is characterized by independence, which the psychological development is very important. I think we had better keep a sense of independence.
        In addition, learning English is essential. On one hand, not four certificate, we would no longer be eligible for graduate degrees. Moreover, we are looking for work, the English a decisive factor. So I hope you understand the importance of learning English.
Good luck to you！
                                                                                             yours，
                                                                                             Li Ming

好啦，大家来让海豚看看都捕到了多少鱼吧


PS：1、做题建议，大家先把文章复制下来再改动会比较方便哦～
       2、作文征集：这年头，网上都找不到普通的作文，都是经典范文 所以海豚现在征集大家的作文，偷偷的在私下联系海豚哦～海豚保密，让大家都来批改一下你的作文，对你不是也很有益吗？嘻嘻，期待有投稿的，稿费从优～[s:9]
      3、下一期才能看到这一期的范文哦～

[ 本帖最后由 海豚宝贝 于 2007-7-1 03:38 PM 编辑 ]

I am a senior student of Northwestern University Computer Science Department.

缺少be动词

not for a certificate

the English is a decisive factor
少了be动词

[ 本帖最后由 dreamhunter 于 2007-6-30 11:11 PM 编辑 ]

I (am) a senior student of Northwestern University Computer Science Department.
I would like to say a few words to you. (want)
I hope it will be useful for you.  (would)
       First, the idea of change(changing) to adapt to campus life is very necessary. In secondary schools, we normally rely on the teachers in schools, at home on parents. However, the University\'s learning and life is   (are)   characterized by independence, (of)which the psychological development is very important. I think we had better keep a sense of independence.

Dear freshmen :
        I am a senior student of Northwestern University in Computer Science Department. I would like to say a few words to you. I hope it will be useful for you.
       First, the idea of changeing to adapt to campus life is very necessary. In secondary schools, we normally rely on the teachers in schools, at home on parents. However, the University\'s learning and life is(are) characterized by independence, which the psychological development is very important. I think we had better keep a sense of independence.
        In addition, learning English is essential. On one hand, not(without) four certificate, we would no longer be eligible for graduate degrees. Moreover, we are looking for work, the English (is) a decisive factor. So I hope you understand the importance of learning English.
Good luck to you！
                                                                                             yours，
                                                                                             Li Ming

I  am a senior student of Northwestern University Computer Science Department. I would like to say a few words to you. I hope it will be useful for you.
       First, the idea of change(changing) to adapt to campus life is very necessary. In secondary schools, we normally rely on the teachers in schools, at home on parents. However, the University\'s learning and life is(are) characterized by independence, which the psychological development is very important. I think we had better keep a sense of independence.
        In addition, learning English is essential. On one hand, not(without) four certificate, we would no longer be eligible for graduate degrees. Moreover,(when) we are looking for work, the English a decisive factor. So I hope you understand the importance of learning English.
Good luck to you！
欢迎来到免费考研网www.freekaoyan.com

Dear freshmen :
        I  am a senior student of Northwestern University Computer Science Department. I would like to say a few words to you(这里不算错，但我觉得换成give some advice to you 比较好). I hope it will be useful for you.
       First, the idea of changing  to adapt to campus life is very necessary. In secondary schools, we normally rely on the teachers in schools, at home on parents. However, the University\'s learning and life is characterized by independence, of which the psychological development is very important（crucial或者critical 都比这个单词好的多）. I think we had better keep a sense of independence.
        In addition, learning English is essential. On one hand,  without cet-4  certificate, we would no longer be eligible for graduate degrees. Moreover, we are looking for work, the（the去掉 ） English a decisive factor. So I hope you understand the importance of learning English.
Good luck to you！
                                                                                             yours，
                                                                                             Li Ming

I am a senior student from/in the Computer Science Department　of Northwestern University
缺介词，另外习惯上定语由细到粗～

Dear freshmen :
        I  am a senior student from Computer Science Department of Northwestern University . I would like to say a few words to you. I hope that it will be useful for you. //缺少BE动词。习惯将大头的写在后面。我觉得应该有THAT吧//
       First, the idea of changing to adapt to campus life is very necessary. In secondary schools, we normally rely on the teachers in schools, at home on parents. However, the University\'s learning and life is characterized by independence, which the psychological development is very important. I think we had better keep a sense of independence.
        In addition, learning English is essential. On one hand, not four certificate, we would no longer be eligible for graduate degrees. Moreover, we are looking for work, (the)去掉吧 English  is a decisive factor. So I hope you understand the importance of learning English.
Good luck to you！
                                                                                             yours，
                                                                                             Li Ming

Dear freshmen :
        I ‘m a senior student in Computer Science Departmentof Northwestern University . I would like to say a few words to you. I hope it will be useful for you.
       First, the idea of changing to adapt to campus life is very necessary. In secondary schools, we normally relied on the teachers in schools, at home on parents. However, the University\'s learning and life are characterized by independence, which the psychological development is very important. I think we had better keep a sense of independence.
        In addition, learning English is essential. On one hand,without CET-4 certificate, we would no longer be eligible for graduate degrees. On the other hand, we are looking for work, the English is a decisive factor. So I hope you understand the importance of learning English.
Good luck to you！
                                                                                             yours，
                                                                                             Li Ming
觉得改来改去没改到什么嘛，收成不好，宝贝收不到鱼要饿了