[研英真经研习小组][2006][大作文]

原帖由 lilin396 于 2007-10-27 10:57 发表
谢，上面同志的作品，对我这个在家复习的孤家寡人，很有启示．我也想写出来给 有能力又热心的同志们[s:4] 改改

期待哦

第二段开头的Indeed倒是马马虎虎，但是第三段开头的In my opinion，这种简直就是初中生程度的英语（说实话，我写作文也经常用这个短语，实在太熟练了，不用想就会自己跳出来），估计全国50％的人都会用它来表示“在我看来”这种意思，最好还是换一种表述形式。至于怎么换，我也不大清楚。

呵呵，这是很多老师给出来的模板，都是写in my opinion
虽然不出彩，但是总不算是过错，不会有太大影响的

原帖由 海豚宝贝 于 2007-10-29 17:16 发表
呵呵，这是很多老师给出来的模板，都是写in my opinion
虽然不出彩，但是总不算是过错，不会有太大影响的

呵呵，还可用In my eyes，我写的真是不太好，正在努力中，好些词背了但还是不太会用...，努力@!

原帖由 jiaoshou911 于 2007-10-24 11:00 发表
The left picture shows a crazy fan who had write Beckham’s name on his face. Young men also spend lots of time and money to change his hair style resembled superstars. It is show in the righ ...

谢谢，呵呵，我会积极改进！

一直没有对作文下手,今天看了海豚办的这个主题,还有大家积极踊跃地参加,我要加入,等我写好了还希望大家帮忙纠错[s:9] [s:9]

献上我的拙作，大家斧正。
As is described in the photos,the two young men seem to show their wordships for the soccer-star in an unique way,writing the name “Becham”,an English athlete of the football ,on the face,or having the hair cut in the star’s way.


It is an unmormal phenomenon that the picture reflects which is favorite among the young people those who spend much money and time on imitating something unworthy. In fact,there has lots of value things for us to do ,such as studying the knowledge,working hard for society,contributing to others,and so on .why can we do something else insignificant at the cost of much time and money ?

The world which we lived is filled with more chanleges than ever,so we should pay more attention to improving skills,increasing abilities,raising levels and devoting ourselves to people’s happiness.On grounds that there is no the same two leaves in the world,we should keep our character rather than to imitate others.if we constantly copy other’s appearance ,then we lost ourselves someday.

In conclusion ,we should wake up from this blind action and to pursue the thing which is more valuable.Only do this,can we get a real and good life,leading us to a bright and gorgeous future.

[ 本帖最后由 随风而逝 于 2007-10-31 21:04 编辑 ]

一天一天得坚持下去  
  我相信我行

嗯嗯    不错啊
谢谢哦

The left picture shows a crazy fan who had writen Beckham’s name on his face. Young men also spend lots of time and money to change their hair style resembled superstars. It is      shown that in the right picture that to make a Beckham’s hair style will cost 300RMB.
Indeed, sports stars take an important role of youth life. It is prevalent that young men to have sports stars as their idols. This phenomenon influences many young men through imitating their idols\' every aspect of life. Some of them devote almost all the time and energy to pursuing stars. Pay attention to their action, wear, hairstyle and handsome appearance, but how many youth focus their view on why their idols can achieve success? For instance, Beckham as a football player win his honor all over the world because his diligence and perseverance.
In my opinion, there is nothing wrong for youth to support or pursuit his idols. But I would like to suggest that young men should pay more attention to star’s inner world than their appearance. Meanwhile, learn good qualities from the idols that lead their to success.
感觉错的还不是那么很离谱啊!