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自己写的05年作文,希望大家帮忙点评下

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perfectsb122 发表于 08-1-7 23:17:39 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
这次是05年的了(养老足球赛),请大家打个分并点评!
上次发的03年的有人喜欢(http://bbs.freekaoyan.com/thread-226942-1-1.html),所以这次斗胆再发篇05的,风格变化不大,基本属于传说中的模版派,请拍砖!!!!

As is depicted in the illustration,a peculiar football match is being played on the court.In the center,an aged father crouches into a football,looking miserable,helpless while in front of the four gates stand his four children,who are glaring and playing as goalkeepers,well prepared to "block out" the "football".The phenomenon showed in the cartoon is uncommon and remains thought-provoking!

The cartoon,undoubtedly,can be interpreted in a symbolic manner.Far from being an individual case,it serves as a painful reminder of the tensions between the young,ungrateful generation and their aged,needy parents.As the world grows increasingly money-oriented, there is no lack of ungrateful, egoistic, heartless youngsters, whose philosophy of life can be summarized as "material desires dominate". The exclusive concern of their life has been reduced to material comfort and sensual pleasure.Neglect of parents merely serves as an added testimony to their selfishness.

As far as I am concerned,piety and gratefulness towards parents,considered as traditional virtues in our Chinese culture by many reasonable men,are indispensable qualities for humanity. Accordingly, the young are supposed to pay back parents' love by making their later years enjoyable and comfortable.What's more,we should appeal to our governments to make concrete lows to protect the parent's legal rights and punish the impiety and ungratefulness,as represented here by the four mean souls,and more in society.Only with love, compassion, and gratefulness, could one live happily and completely, as Sigmund Freud, the distinguished psychologist,notes.

[ 本帖最后由 perfectsb122 于 2008-1-7 23:23 编辑 ]
沙发
zhangknight2 发表于 08-1-8 01:48:18 | 只看该作者
搂住的套路真不错啊……可以把这几年写的真题都发上来么
板凳
 楼主| perfectsb122 发表于 08-1-8 09:22:45 | 只看该作者
其他的没写啊..........
有空再写写再发!
地板
夏夜茉莉2008 发表于 08-1-8 09:34:48 | 只看该作者
这是用多长时间写的?

那些词都很难阿
5#
 楼主| perfectsb122 发表于 08-1-8 11:06:26 | 只看该作者
也没多少时间,那些词在<Born to win>里面都有.
6#
夏夜茉莉2008 发表于 08-1-8 11:10:07 | 只看该作者
Born to win是什么书?论坛上有个帖子说今年不能用模版哦,楼主觉得怎么样
7#
 楼主| perfectsb122 发表于 08-1-8 11:44:09 | 只看该作者
不能用模版?
国家颁布新法律了?模版是违法犯罪行为?
这下麻烦大了啊!!!!!!
8#
 楼主| perfectsb122 发表于 08-1-8 11:46:33 | 只看该作者
Born to win是一本英文散文(大概可归为散文吧),里面有30篇文章,写的行云流水一般,如果背下来,作文应该错不了!
9#
夏夜茉莉2008 发表于 08-1-8 11:58:55 | 只看该作者
N久没写作文了 昨晚刚好也写了一篇 刚好和楼主的题目相同 不过写得很不顺手 想要写的东西表达不出来,而且总是担心语法错误 拼写错误。。

愁死了  不知道10天内怎么提高作文水平


The vivid picture above arouse my interest.As is shown in the picture,a football match is going on.An old man is kicked out like a football by his eldest son,whose two brothers and a younter sister are guarding their goals.
    Simple as the picture seems,it convey a far more thought-provoking meaning.It stands for the evil trend that recently occur in our society.Some people try their best to shirk their duty of taking care of their old and weak parents,which should be critized by public.
    We should be aware of this bad phnomenon and take measure to fight against it.Firstly,the administration should make strict laws to punish the people who abandon the old.Secondly,it\'s crucial to raise public awareness of respecting the old and providing for one\'s own old parents is not only our traditional virtue,but also the resposibilty must take.Last but not least important,the scandal of abandoning the old shoulb be exposed to the public.Only we exert our joint effort to this issue,can the evil trend be curbed .
10#
 楼主| perfectsb122 发表于 08-1-8 12:48:04 | 只看该作者
字数貌似不够啊!!!
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