免费考研论坛与考研1号联合发起“作文修改”活动——【第一期“”山寨文化】

免费考研论坛与考研1号联合发起“作文修改”活动要求地址：http://bbs.freekaoyan.com/thread-840736-1-1.html

【第二期活动地址】：

http://bbs.freekaoyan.com/thread-841724-1-1.html

第一期活动已经完美结束，这里面有学生常见的错误和老师的评改，希望对一些没有练习或者写作能力较差的学生一些帮助和鼓励。 后期活动陆续进行中，期待您的参与！

2013.10.12第一期话题

山寨文化

Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the   following drawing. In your essay, you should                                   

1. describe the drawing briefly,

2. explain its intended meaning, and then

3. give your comments.

You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2.(20points）

欢迎大家跟帖，共同进步！

                                                                                                          2013.10.12考研1号宣

支持这样的好活动。最近正在练习作文。不过貌似都是套话。欢迎批改指正，上传附件，方便下载修改。谢谢。共224字

    As is shown above, in the middle of the picture stands a people,making the crafts that we call "shanzhai", with thinking money in his mind. There has been a heated discussion above the picture in the newspaper recently. Simple as the picture is, the symbolic meaning is as deep as ocean.

    The picture does reveal that the culture of “shanzhai” is not only harmful but also damaging.The past decade has witnessed a huge development in economy owing to reforming and opening-up policies carried out,bringing some problem at the same time,with the above one being the foremost.What’s more,the public fails to attach due attention to shanzhai.If the situation were to continue as it is,we would pay the high price.This culture waste our hours,lavishes days and even squanders years.

    The situation being so serious,it is high time that we took effective measures to tackle this problem.It is imperative that corresponding laws and regulations be introduced and enforced to curb and harness this urgent problem.The public should enhance their awareness.Put it another way,it is important that we should treat it socially,economically and culturally.

      谢谢老师，希望老师帮忙改一下！！
       Looking at the picture, a individual is painting oil color on the vase that is copycat. And the person is dedicated to making money .Behind the person there exist a host of copycat vase.
      There is no doubt that the purpose of the picture is to reveal us a common and serious problem that the copycat is prevalent in modern society. For one thing , many individuals can’t afford real brand things so they are substitute to buy copycats. For another , the copycats are cheaper than brand things so the business can profit much. For instance, nowadays there are many cell phones and a sequent of books and so on which are copycats on the market. Merely everyone has a connection with them that involves our most lives.
     A coin has two sides . There are draws and advantages about this phenomenon. This thing can help us resolve our life problems and we can afford a “brand thing” that can need some folks’ vanity . However , they are illegal . Especially , when they take the copycats as real brand things , they aren’t honesty . So we should appeal to the government to take measures to resolve the problems.

govycm 发表于 2013-10-12 12:58
支持这样的好活动。最近正在练习作文。不过貌似都是套话。欢迎批改指正，上传附件，方便下载修改。谢谢。共 ...

欢迎您的参与！

李可家 发表于 2013-10-12 14:48
谢谢老师，希望老师帮忙改一下！！
       Looking at the picture, a individual is painting oil  ...

不错，欢迎你的加入。[r:1]

考研1号编辑部 发表于 2013-10-14 11:03
欢迎您的参与！

希望老师给修改下，提升下我的蹩脚的英语，辛苦！

小弟考北京的学校，闻说北京改卷较严……

hyw615 发表于 2013-10-14 15:09
小弟考北京的学校，闻说北京改卷较严……

改卷严格与否，咱们无法把握和决定，但是我们可以决定自己是否需要努力提高自己的作文水平。英语写作的提高不可能一蹴而就，踏实稳步的提高语法，语言结构，行文组织能力，让自己的英语作文为考研加分，是大家共同的夙愿，所以动笔写作是必不可少的。

求批
As is vividly shown in the picture, someone are painting in a vase, who is thinking about money. There is “shanzhai” in the surface of vase. Behind him there are several similar vases.
  The picture revel that the copycat culture become popular nowadays. All aspects of life, We can find copycat culture. Not only the media, the books, but also our daily necessities have copycat’s shadow. First and foremost, as the society becomes more and more money-oriented, people treat money as life. Secondly, many person need brand but can’t afford it. Copycat is cheaper than brand, so customer buy it and businessman product it.
  Facing the pressure now, we should takes the best. In my personal, it’s not just the responsibility of the government, the public also needs to be responsible. The laws and regulation that enacted by government, are important safeguard. The public should improve their awareness that copycat is illegal. Not only does it hurt to society, but also hurt yourself. Moreover, businessman can work together to create a better product than the existing brand. If everyone all work together, it will not be a problem.

独孤悠 发表于 2013-10-15 16:51
求批
As is vividly shown in the picture, someone are painting in a vase, who is thinking about mone ...

欢迎你的加入。