【考研1号】“2014作文修改”——【第三期英语一“毅力与恒心”】

    As is vividly shown in the picture, a fairly long distance lies between a single-legged man who sweating a lot and his final destination—the mountain peak. Despite the very difficulties, we can learn from his dedicated and persistent face that he will succeed in arriving at the top of the mountain.
      Seemingly, the message of the picture is that perseverance is one of the most vital traits in our pursuit of success. It can be given some concrete examples to support this view. For instance, before finding the best suitable materials for bulbs, Edison had failed nearly 3000 times. If he had given up experimenting at the first battle with obstacles, bulbs could still haven't showed up in human’s history. One more example is that so many talented young men in elite colleges end up dropping out because of their terrible learn credits. This happened because they escaped the stressful situation when confronting difficulties in studying.
    To my best understanding, only with perseverance can we finally achieve our goals and live a content life.

写的不好，希望能得到老师的建议。

    As is shown in the picture, a disable boy who is sweating is climbing the mountain. Although it is so far away form the mountaintop, the boy is still firm. Below the picture, there is a caption which said " willpower and perseverance".
    In my view point, not only determination do we need in all walks of life, but also a strong willpower is nothing to be defeated. On the one hand, people who are perseverant are so powerful that can face any problems. They are self-confident and never feel fearful in difficulties. On the other hand, perseverant people never given up. They will insist on solve the problems until they will be victors. Otherwise, as it was said, where there is a will, there is a way, willpower can help us overcome all kinds of difficulties to become a better one.
    As far as I am concerned, we have to strengthen our determinations to face the new social situations. First of all, teachers should teach their students to know how to be perseverant, because children are easy to be built characters. In addition, we must train ourselves to be the man who has backbone. Last but not the least, society should to encourage citizens have more and more willpower and perseverance. There is no doubt that, only by doing so can make us more success.


谢谢老师帮忙批改~~老师辛苦啦

The cartoon illustrates the situation of  the climber  who is sweating,what’s more,its title is ‘Perseverance and success’.
As we can easily know from the picture,if the climber wants to go to the peak,he will pay a price,such as sweat and perseverance.In some extent, life is just like climbing,during the time,we may run into a lot of stones,which is like different difficulty.We should overcome difficulty so that we can pay off,for example climbing.The process not the road itself, but rather the perseverance people have as they encounter unexpected obstacles. No one can casually pay off,perseverance is an important factors.Definitely,perseverance leads to success.
All in all,perseverance ,is a necessary key to success.Life is full of challenge and difficulty,nevertheless,please believe perseverance will conquer everything.Go forward bravely!
老师，我有个问题想问，我写议论性的文章总是感觉自己在编一样，全是些比如什么相信前途是美好的，道路是曲折的，求指导。。。

The cartoon illustrates the situation of  the climber  who is sweating,what’s more,its title is ‘Perseverance’.
As we can easily know from the picture,if the climber wants to go to the peak,he will pay a price,such as sweat and perseverance.In some extent, life is just like climbing,during the time,we may run into a lot of stones,which is like different difficulty.We should overcome difficulty so that we can pay off,for example climbing.The process not the road itself, but rather the perseverance people have as they encounter unexpected obstacles. No one can casually pay off,perseverance is an important factors.Definitely,perseverance leads to success.
All in all,perseverance ,is a necessary key to success.Life is full of challenge and difficulty,nevertheless,please believe perseverance will conquer everything.Go forward bravely!
发重了，楼上那篇可忽略不计，老师，我有个问题想问，我写这类的文章总是感觉自己在编一样，站着说话不腰疼，全是些特寒颤人的空口白话比如什么相信前途是美好的，道路是曲折的，有时真的是累觉不爱编不下去乐，求指导。。。

笔为剑 发表于 14-10-25 00:38
你这样写，显然是太长了。在考场上如果这样写，就很可能写不完，然后得低分。

  用电脑打字，确实就没想到这一点，没想到这就有284个单词了。。下回注意~~

paragraph 发表于 14-10-25 01:56
另外 ， 楼上那个写了284个 ， 会不会有点太多了...

确实有点多了，用电脑打字，没想到会有这么多。。下回注意。。

人云亦云的恩 发表于 14-10-24 21:47
What a thought-provking picture it is！A boy who stands on the bottom of a high mountain is climb ...

e in our society in which we live in这啥意思啊，貌似不对吖

    老湿，看我看我~~求批改，求打分~
    As can be seen from the picture above, faced with a high mountain, a handicapped person is striving forward, sweated but steady. How inspiring it is! Simple as the picture is, certain instructive implication is remarkably revealed.
    The picture tells us that nothing can not be overcomed with the perseverance. On one hand, perseverance is a vital ingredient of the modern recipe to success, both for individual and for a nation. Besides, it’s truly the fundamental attribute of top performers, which separates the high achievers from the rest of the pack. One the other hand, just as dripping water can penetrate stone, perseverance can break through anything, no matter how tough the difficulty may be. Numerous cases exist to elaborate on this point: the story of Hawking, a disabled person and one of the most significant scientist, fully illustrates the importance of perseverance in realizing personal ambition and creating value for the society.   
    So, doubtless, what should be borne in our minds is that the most reliable path to gain meaningful life begins with setting goals mattering both ourselves and others, and run forward finally to the destination of happiness with our continuous devotion.

写这篇文章的心得：
1、一定程度上把握了字数，一定程度上加强了对第二段的重视。。。
2、可能我是沉思型人格吧，写完以后总要自己纠结检查好久，考场上是肯定不能这样的。。。
我现在的想法是：在练习阶段尽可能发现自己能发现的错误，强烈重视老师提出的自己不能发现的错误，在考场上尽量少犯错误快速作文。

求指导：老湿~现在需要开始练习写作速度么，还是先尽可能减少错误的写粗来。。。o(╯□╰)o，不然的话，什么情况下开始练习速度捏。。。速度—准确性权衡不好做啊啊aaa

  it's apprant that its intended meaning of this cartoon is to underline the significant importance of the willpower and perseverance . indeed ,we heard the whisper all life long , yet , it's still a  difficult decision to make that should we give up , if doom ?on the one aspect , inner place deep inside our heart so desire it , however , on the counterpart , we face the risk that we may not get what we aspire even when we fight exhausted . there is no deny that it even more unacceptable emotionly that we fighted we lost than we just lost .

         这次又发晚，不懂会不会被老师改到
         Whoever sees this cartoo can't help admiring.How inspirational it is -A disabled man with a stick is trying his best to climb a hill. Although it's difficulty for him to reach the top, he still adhere to complete the challenge. From this we can see perseverance and persistance is necessary character for us.      
         However,many people know it important in our daily life to make success but few men can persist to acheiving goals.many obstacles are keeping their position in our way to success.With the spirit of perseverance ,they can achieve what they have dreamed for long. It goes with no denying that behind everyone's successful life,perseverance plays a leading role in it. For instance,nearly all outstanding athletes spend time on practice,whose patience is unimaginable.Liu wei,who was the winner of China Got Talent without arms but can play the piano，is also a case support that miracle can happen to everyone if he or she work hard and never give up.        
         Anyone can give up ,it's the easiest thing in the world to do.But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart,that's true strength.Therefore,it shouldn't stop halfway however great the difficulties might be if we wan to success.Just do likewise as the disabled man.